RUSSIAN LEADERS REVEALED TO BE CRIME-FIGHTING DUO
Moscow, Russia- The diplomatic world has been shaken up recently as a result of the massive leak of diplomatic cables by the site Wikileaks. But none has shocked the international community as much as one released this week that reveals the secret identity of the beloved crime-fighters Batman and Robin to be none other than Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev. While details of how the two manage to balance a full schedule of running a country and international diplomacy with nightly rooftop patrols, forensic investigations, and tangling with villains such as the Joker and Two-Face remain unclear, many pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place since the news broke. Prime Minister Putin does fit the traditional characterization of the dark knight as a cold, brooding, and troubled individual with vast amounts of disposable income and a great physique. His intermittent disappearances from the world and national stage in Russia can explain the time he spends rescuing police commissioners and their extended families from acid vats. Medvedev's relationship with his predecessor also fits the description of the dynamic duo, with the President often deferring to Putin's sage wisdom and years of experience in diplomatic and hand to hand combat matters. The Russian landscape itself has begun to closely resemble the fictional city of Gotham as well, with corrupt officials taking bribes and employing mafia organizations to handle their "dirty work,"overcrowded prison systems with an exceptionally high escape rate, violent crime on the rise, and generally looking dark and dreary. Current circumstance have left many Russian citizens asking for a hero. Fortunately, they got two. The recent revelation of a world leader/ superhero pair has left many analysts wondering about the possibility of President Obama and Vice-President Joe Biden secretly being the interracial duo of Captain America and the Falcon.
(At least one witness has described the Falcon as shouting "Yes we can!" before apprehending a group of bank robbers)
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